A buyer who finds that one special home may wonder why the present owner is selling. The reason could be as benign as a job transfer ... or as nasty as a divorce with arduous negotiations.

Can buyers ask why a home is being sold? Or are such questions somehow unfair, something that goes in the "MYOB" (Mind Your Own Business) category?

As a buyer you plainly would like to know more about the home than the number of bedrooms and baths. Such intelligence nuggets may tell you something about the property, its condition, and why the sellers are moving. They may also help you get a better deal.

Buyers want, of course, to be subtle and tactful. You want information, but you don't want to say something which will inflame the seller or give away your bargaining position.

One approach is to say, "Wow, this is such a nice home, can I ask why the owner is moving?"

In one sentence you have now offered a compliment and posed a question. This hardly seems threatening or offensive.

So what does the owner or broker say?

There are reasons to move which are perfectly logical. We need more space. As we have gotten older we have decided to buy a home without stairs. We're retiring and have bought our dream home. Our children have grown and we want to move close to them. We have new jobs 500 miles away.

But what if the owner says:

• That leak makes it impossible to operate a home office in the basement.

• After the hurricane, we decided to spend the insurance money on a new home rather than this one.

• Sure we've seen the home inspector's report. So what. Those people are paid to cause trouble. We've lived here 30 years and the roof that came with the house is just fine.

• We're getting divorced.

• After 19 years with the asbestos company I lost my job when the plant closed.

You get the picture. Some answers are innocent and some raise red flags big enough to fly in Moscow.

What you're looking for are clues to help you make a better offer -- one with a lower price, one with terms and conditions to cure a problem.

For instance, in the case of a divorce it may well be that both parties detest one another. The home is a symbol of their lives together -- and they hate that symbol as much as they hate each other. In such circumstances the desire for a quick sale may well allow the home to be purchased at a discounted price.

And the same, of course, for someone facing foreclosure, someone who's job at the dot.com has faded, and someone who must move.

There are some questions that don't work and should be avoided.

For instance, don't ask how much the owners paid for the property. It doesn't matter. What counts is the current market value. If they got a bargain nine years ago, so what? The market has changed, there are new buyers and sellers, and there have been years for prices to appreciate (or decline). They're going to try and sell for as much as today's market will allow.

Is it fair to take advantage of someone else's misery?

That's not quite the issue. First, you're not a social worker. You're a home buyer and obligated only to get the best price and terms. Pay too much and you're merely transferring wealth from your pocket to someone else's.

Second, all properties have a market value. That value is determined by many factors, including personal issues. If someone needs to settle in 30 days for whatever and you both want the house and can make the deal, why pay a premium?

But what if the seller is savvy?

It may well be that a job has been lost, but it can also be true that an owner suddenly and conveniently likes a home with more closet space. You'll no doubt get the "more space" answer if you ask why the seller wants to move.

Interaction with owners and their brokers should be friendly but cautions. In the same way that smart sellers will prepare for the inevitable questions which arise in the bargaining process, so should buyers.

Why are you buying? How much of a downpayment can you make? When do you need to move?

Sound familiar? The seller is probing for negotiating hints -- just like you.

For more articles by Courtney Ronan, please press here.