"I come from a family of teachers and shrinks."

Nearly everyone I've coached has heard that line from me at one point or another. And yes, I say "shrinks" to hopefully get a smile or a chuckle. It usually works.

It's true, though, and I'm proud of my family. I guess because of this upbringing (I knew who Jean Piaget was when I was 5 years old due to my older brother's psychological studies), I analyze nearly everything, and I'm seeing some interesting things happen in the current real estate climate.

Not the least of which is the slow-but-sure erosion of the predominance of the over-aggressive personality in all realms of sales. You know -- the one that's focused not on the client's needs, but only on their own agenda while trying to make it appear to the client that they actually care.

Today's consumer can see through all of that, and that's why they're flocking to the internet to get away from that type of person. Heck, these individuals are the very types of people who are most responsible for the necessity of call screening, spam filters and lest I forget -- the do-not-call-list.

Those things didn't just happen, they happened for a reason.

Consumers have learned to resist sales "tactics" and the solution for today's consumer is to show some heart. Show them you care. Show them you're not a laboratory rat.

Yep. Think about it. When the laboratory rat pushes the little lever in its cage, a food pellet comes out. The rat learns that the food pellet comes out whenever he/she pushes the little lever and, therefore, expects the food pellet every time. Conversely the over-aggressive agent has become accustomed to getting their way by pushing people in whatever direction they want. What happens when those people don't do "what they're supposed to do?" Same thing that a laboratory rat does to the lever when the food pellet doesn't come out. It keeps pushing...harder...and more aggressively. And like the laboratory rat that doesn't get the food pellet reward, the over-aggressive agent doesn't get referrals and now (thanks to safe havens like the internet) is watching their business erode while they continue to pound the proverbial square peg into the round hole.

These people, in a very sick way, actually make your job easier once you get through those initial hoops of trust building. They don't leave very big shoes to fill, and when you really care it shows to today's consumer.

What happens when the consumers' needs are not put first? Oh, I don't know. Perhaps a nation of people who are upside-down in their mortgages? Perhaps deals that never should have been made in the first place but helped someone meet their quota?

Where is the line drawn? You have to decide that for yourself because it is on the individual level that we truly have the most impact on this arena we call real estate.

When a customer isn't ready, don't push. Listen.